Lonni Long (left) and Israel Scott Rehaume (right)
By Wade Sheldon, Tulalip News
Wellbriety is a transformative program dedicated to supporting Native communities in their journey toward addiction recovery. Integrating cultural traditions and holistic practices fosters reconnection among individuals and their communities, providing a nurturing environment that promotes healing beyond traditional twelve-step frameworks. The program emphasizes balance and harmony through methods like the medicine wheel, allowing participants to acknowledge their progress and manage their urges as they strive for a brighter future.
On February 20, Wellbriety hosted its third annual dinner at the Tulalip Dining Hall. Around 50 attendees celebrated this ongoing journey. The event highlighted the profound impacts of addiction on Native communities and the strides being made toward liberation.
As many Native communities have faced the painful legacies of addiction, Wellbriety has emerged as a beacon of hope. Its efforts, revitalized in 2023 in collaboration with Tulalip’s Family Services and Problem Gambling Program, assist individuals in finding the Red Road to recovery. During the dinner, Robin Johnson, a Chemical Dependency Professional, and Katy Berry, a Substance Use Disorder Professional from Tulalip Behavioral Health, facilitated a space for attendees to share their personal stories, illustrating how culture can serve as powerful medicine in reclaiming lives from despair.
The evening underscored that hope and healing are possible, even in the face of daunting challenges, reinforcing the importance of community and cultural identity in the recovery journey. Attendees recounted their distinct paths to sobriety—or should we say, Wellbriety. The journey looks different for each participant.
Israel (Scott) Rehaume, a Yakima Native with 13 years of sobriety, faced a difficult upbringing that led to destructive adult behaviors. After encountering the law, he realized the need for change.
For many, overcoming addiction is not just about abstinence; it’s about transformation and purpose. Israel reflects on his arduous journey with a determination to change. He aims to be the role model he always needed as a child. Rehaume shared, “It’s been a long road since my addiction started, and today, I strive to be the person I wish I had been then. Alcohol and drugs are slow suicide.”
His addiction began at six, bringing drinks to his father and his friends. “I thought my dad was a superhero, and that’s where it all began. I was allowed to drink at twelve, which eventually fueled my addiction with violence. We would get drunk and fight. Soon, I was drinking at school and was expelled at seventeen. I was living a hectic life filled with meth, and while it felt normal, it wasn’t.”
His turning point came after being shot in a drive-by. He also faced consequences for breaking and entering, which led to his first treatment sentence. During this time, he stayed clean for eight months before relapsing. Rehaume would finally achieve sobriety after being caught with a firearm and sentenced to prison. “When I got out, I didn’t let anything interfere with my sobriety. When I had my son, I wanted to ensure he was raised right,” Rehaume recounted. He stressed, “I do everything I can to help the community because I spent so much time peer-pressuring people into dope; now it’s time to peer-pressure them into getting clean.”
Rehaume encouraged community support, saying, “If you get enough people to lean on, then you won’t fall.” He believes that “sobriety and wellness are key.”
Lonni Long also shared her journey, revealing, “When I was 18, I knew I was an alcoholic. I thought I was going to die but didn’t want to do anything to change it.”
Lonni’s childhood was tumultuous, marked by the loss of her mother at ten and living with relatives. She recalled, “Growing up, I had to live with my relatives. From ages 8 to 12, I faced a lot of abuse, both sexually and emotionally. I started acting out at 13 to 14, drinking, smoking, and getting involved with gangs.
Despite attempts at recovery at ages 16 and 18, Lonni struggled with addiction, reflecting, “At first, it would work. I knew I wanted to do better, but alcohol made me feel happy.” At age 17, her sister’s sudden and tragic death plunged her into more profound grief, where she noted, “I became selfish and self-centered. That’s when I started using drugs. I began smoking meth and continued for 15 years straight.”
Lonni’s life spiraled into chaos: “I lost track of the constructs of time. Time didn’t mean anything to me.” After multiple DUIs and a period of not trusting anyone, she discovered she was pregnant. “I couldn’t change my life for myself. When my baby was born, it was like magic. He made me want to be better and to be clean and sober, which I never thought I could be.” After nine years of sobriety, Lonni emphasized, “This is just the beginning.”
Victor Garcia
Victor Garcia, a member of the Upper Skagit Tribe, reflected on his journey, saying, “It’s crazy to be coming to events and meetings. A year ago, I was in a dark place. I didn’t have anyone in my corner. It wasn’t until I met the people of Tulalip that I felt actual kindness and love. A few elders would tell me they had prayed and lit a candle for me. They would say they were thinking of me and praying for me. That was an encouraging thing to hear.”
It took a while for Garcia to find his footing as he struggled with active addiction for 12 years. However, he found positivity at the Wellbriety meetings, which he described as a source of great strength. “There’s a lot of good medicine,” he explained. Garcia noted how he saw people who were once on the streets with him, now doing better. He appreciates the program’s many supportive resources, stating that they equip participants with essential tools for maintaining sobriety.
The event closed with a powerful reminder of the strength found in unity with a countdown of sober time. Together, attendees celebrated an impressive collective total of 177.8 years of sobriety. Stories of hardship and healing echoed a shared truth: recovery is possible, and no one has to walk the path alone. For those seeking support, Wellbriety offers weekly meetings at the Tulalip Dining Hall every Friday at noon, with additional sessions at Behavioral Health Services. The next opportunity to connect is the annual Problem Gambling Awareness Community Dinner on March 15. Those interested in attending can RSVP at (360) 716-4400.
It is a truly beautiful moment to witness the recovery countdown and see dozens of Tulalip community members recognized for their work in taking back control against what is often referred to as a silent disease. An estimated two million US citizens meet the criteria for severe gambling addiction any given year, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling. And though that is roughly just one percent of the entire country’s population, there are hundreds of families affected by problem gambling and the multiple issues that stem from the disease.
The recovery countdown occurs every year at the Tulalip Problem Gambling’s annual community dinner. Starting at 50 years, the event MC calls out increments of time down to one month. Each person who has attained the corresponding amount of gaming sobriety under their belt, stands up and is met with applause for their time, effort, and resiliency in the battle of their addiction. What started as a small gathering held in the halls of the Hibulb Cultural Center, has grown as word about the program has spread and more people are coming forward about their addiction and seeking aid.
The Tribe’s Problem Gambling program is a national model program that many Indigenous tribes look to when designing and operating their own programs. They are also a part of a northwest intertribal problem gambling coalition with the Swinomish, Lummi, Stillaguamish, Port Gamble, Suquamish, Puyallup, Muckleshoot, and Nisqually tribes. They meet regularly to discuss what is and what isn’t working for their programs and to share ideas on how to educate their communities and provide prevention and treatment to those in need of assistance.
Over recent years, the community dinner has increased in participation, so much so that the event is now held at the Orca Ballroom of the Tulalip Resort Casino. In addition to the countdown, the dinner also includes live testimonies from recovering gambling addicts who share their trials and tribulations, but more importantly their triumphs. This gives the people in attendance an opportunity to relate, and it also serves as a moment to help inspire those who may be currently struggling.
Last year, a local woman who wishes to remain anonymous, opened up about her personal recovery journey with the Problem Gambling program. She stated, “I was pretty much a daily gambler for about 15 years. My rock bottom was losing my job and when that happened is when I finally realized what I was doing. Those two weeks after I lost my job – that was probably the worst experience of my life. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating, I was in physical pain all day long. I went through a couple of weeks of just really an all-consuming guilt and shame, and it was horrific.
“And then I thought, you know what, I just need to find a GA meeting. So, I went online and found a GA meeting and attended my first meeting in Everett, where I met this guy who told me about the Problem Gambling program. The next week I went and had an assessment, and the rest is history. I have just over 10 months of sobriety and will reach my first year In April.”
Overall, the program has become a reliable source for those attempting to put an end to their gambling addiction. Throughout the years, it has helped those in recovery by developing a personalized plan with each person who walks through their doors. Since its establishment, the Problem Gambling program has served not only members of the Tulalip tribal community, but non-Natives as well who are also fighting a gambling addiction and live in our neighboring communities of Everett, Marysville, Arlington, and Stanwood.
The dinner occurs every March and is part of a national initiative known as National Problem Gambling Awareness Month, which was founded as a response to NCAA’s March Madness tournament. The Tulalip Problem Gambling Program has participated in the initiative for well over a decade and the amount of support and community participation is both impressive and uplifting.
The 2025 community dinner will be held on Saturday, March 15, at 6:00 p.m. in the TRC Orca Ballroom. As mentioned before, there will be the recovery countdown and speakers from the local problem gambling recovery community. There will also be a number of special guests including the 206 Singers, Tribal member Natosha Gobin, and this year’s event MC, Vaughn Eaglebear. And as many can attest, humor is a major aspect of healing for us as Native people, and for this reason, the program enlisted comedian JR Redwater (Standing Rock Sioux-Hunkpapa Lakota) as the headliner.
Said Sarah Sense Wilson, Tulalip Problem Gambling Coordinator, “We are excited to be hosting another annual Problem Gambling Awareness Community Dinner. We invite you all to share in celebrating recovery together. This is a special evening where we lift the voices of recovery, and enjoy fabulous entertainment, endless laughs, and amazing cuisine. This is a family friendly, free event. Please be sure to RSVP at (360) 716-4400.”
By Wade Sheldon; photos courtesy of Amoreena Anderson
The following small business owner is highlighted in our six-part series on handmade crafts and art for the April 12 General Council meeting: Tulalip tribal member Amoreena Anderson, owner of Coast Salish Soaps. Her sugar scrubs were selected as part of the gifts the Board of Directors chose for tribal members who attend the meeting. This initiative encourages participation in the vote and provides a platform for small businesses to showcase their products and artwork to the community.
For Anderson, running her own business is about more than selling products—it’s a deeply personal and fulfilling experience.
“It’s incredibly gratifying. Being my own boss allows me to control my work environment and choose what I create,” she shares. But beyond the freedom of entrepreneurship, her work has strengthened her family bonds. “It has also brought my children and me closer together. I make special soaps for my daughter and grandkids based on their needs, and that inspires me to develop products for the community as well.”
Her journey into soap-making began in 2011, but it wasn’t until around 2014 that she started making and selling soaps, including shampoo and conditioner bars. She obtained her official tribal business license between 2017 and 2018, allowing her to sell on the reservation legally.
As much as she loves creating, Anderson admits that marketing has been challenging, especially given her commitment to sustainability. “At the end of the day, owning my business is empowering. However, I’ll admit I struggle with marketing. I prefer a ‘naked’ product—no label or packaging—because I want to leave a minimal carbon footprint. Some people complain about it, but I want them to enjoy a great product.”
Despite this, her business has flourished. The order of sugar scrubs for the General Council meeting is her most significant yet, though her experience proves she’s more than ready for the challenge. “This is the largest order of sugar scrubs I’ve ever had. However, I’ve made nearly 10,000 bars of soap over the years,” she says. Her daughter, Maya, loves collecting her soaps, which Anderson appreciates as a tangible reminder of her growth. “I love it because it allows me to see my progress and how much I’ve grown in this business.”
Anderson’s dedication to high-quality ingredients and ethical sourcing truly sets Coast Salish Soaps apart. “I love knowing the ingredients that go into my products. I am very selective about where I source them,” she explains. She prioritizes supporting Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) owned businesses across the U.S. “For example, I source my butter from a business called 3CayG, which is based in Florida. The owner has a shea butter and tree nut butter farm where she teaches and supports women. I also source oils and other materials from local cosmetic suppliers.”
While the fragrances for the General Council gifts remain a surprise, Anderson is excited for attendees to experience her sugar scrubs. “I’m incredibly grateful for this opportunity to share my products with the community. My sugar scrubs have received amazing reviews, and I’ve impressed a lot of people—including myself.”
For Anderson, self-care is at the heart of everything she does. “If I could say anything to others, it would be this: self-care is important. Your skin is the largest living organ on your body—take good care of it. And if you’re thinking about self-care, please think of me!”
Coast Salish Soaps is more than just a business—it reflects Anderson’s passion, dedication, and commitment to her family and community. As she continues to grow, her products nourish the skin and carry a story of resilience, creativity, and care.
As part of Tulalip News’ six-part series on artists and crafts for the upcoming General Council meeting, four more talented innovators will be featured: Elishia Stewart with her delicious jams, Jen Tracy showcasing her stunning orca paintings, Bibianna Ancheta with her revitalizing chapstick, and Walter Moses presenting his elegant cedar clappers. These artists, like Anderson, are using their talents to create meaningful and high-quality products for the community.
It’s not an implausible statement to say the name Malory Simpson is synonymous with the Tulalip community. Because in more ways than one, Malory is the community. Take a moment and reflect on all the Tribal events held throughout each year and pick your favorite. Chances are high that she was behind the scenes as showrunner, whether the event was cultural, celebratory, or solemn. Actually, scratch that because if we’re being honest, she was more than likely participating during that event as well. Engaging with her community while simultaneously making sure everything went without a hitch.
There are exceptions to this, however, such as school events or gatherings organized by Tribal families. But say you chose a community-driven event like the Easter Bunny Run or the annual Trunk or Treat event, guess what? Malory did that too.
As the Tribe’s events manager for the past several years, and founder of the local non-profit organization Together We’re Better, Malory has dedicated her life to the community. And along the way, she rediscovered her love for the Tulalip culture, became a prominent voice in the community, and made invaluable connections throughout the reservation. And as if she wasn’t busy enough, she also etched out some time to earn her bachelor’s degree in Human Services from the Northwest Indian College – no biggie.
All the long hours put in, experience gained, and knowledge acquired served as preparation for Malory’s new journey, which officially began the moment she accepted the position as Director of both the Legacy of Healing and the Children’s Advocacy Center. Where of course, she will continue to make a positive impact for our community in a very meaningful way.
Just two weeks in with her title still fresh, Malory agreed to an interview with Tulalip News. In this Q&A, you will learn about who Malory Simpson is, what fuels her passion for community work, her reasons on why she accepted this new role, and her desire to help and support her fellow tribal members.
Why don’t we start with a little bit about your background?
My Indian name is γʷιψαταλ. That comes from my maternal grandpa’s side. It was my great-great-great-great grandma’s Indian name and then my mom took that name on. And when she passed away, and we had her memorial, it was placed on me. It is an ancestral name, which is really cool.
My English name is Malory Simpson. On my mother’s side of the family, I come from the Gobin, Taylor side. And on my father’s side of the family is the Jones, Simpson side. My parents are Rodney and Kimberly Simpson junior, my grandparents are Betty and George Taylor, and Dawn and Glenn Simpson.
I am a mother of four. I’ve lived on the reservation my whole life; my kids have been raised out here their whole lives. That’s been kind of fun for us, living by the bay. And being able to drive by the bay every day is just healing in itself.
Let’s speak about your new role. What is your official position?
I am the Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center and the Legacy of Healing. I’m looking forward to learning all aspects of the position. I’m very much a team player, so I would love to be cross trained in all areas so I can help where it’s needed.
What drew your interest to this position?
I noticed it had been open for a while. I thought they might be having a hard time finding somebody to fit the position. And so, I reached out and asked what the duties are and what’s the schedule look like. In my previous position, I was pulled away from my family on so many evenings and holidays, and you could tell that it was putting a strain on my kids, who were wanting their mom to be home with them.
And also, just with my personal experience with domestic violence, because I am a DV survivor. And I understand with the Children’s Advocacy side, the dynamics are different. But really it was just my own personal experience with helping people in the community, the way that I have in the past, just by sharing my story. It was a big motivator for me to do it in a more professional setting. I did go to school to get a Human Services degree, and it felt like a good opportunity to actually work in the field I went to school for.
Can we dig a little deeper into the work you’ve done in the community with Together We’re Better and as the Tribe’s Events Manager?
Prior to becoming the Events Manager, I helped to coordinate community potlucks that we would host every month. And that kind of slowed down because it got really expensive for my cousin and I, who were heading it. Especially after COVID, it really slowed to just the Easter Bunny Run and our Trunk or Treat event. Those are the two huge things we do now, but eventually I think we both want to see the potlucks come back. The purpose behind that was to get our community members together. To bring all the cousins together, who didn’t really know they’re related, and provide a space for them to connect, was really neat to see.
And then I become the Events Manager. After hosting Together We’re Better events, I was able to do something similar for a profession – put on events by the Tribe that also brought our community together and provided a safe place. And in my eyes, that’s a form of prevention and healing, because some people might be struggling. By providing a meal and planning activities, people can start building relationships in the community.
As the Events Manager, you had a big hand in the first Domestic Violence Awareness Month Coastal Jam. Can you talk about that ? And did that serve as inspiration to take on the role of director at the Legacy of Healing?
I got to be on the planning team. Being able to do the footwork in the community and having established those relationships, and the network that I built in the process of it all, I was able to provide those connections to the Legacy of Healing. As the events team, we were also able to pitch in on some budgetary needs. So, we were able to purchase the t-shirts for the event, and everybody loves to get a t-shirt.
I actually got to speak at the event that year, and sometimes it can be really hard to share your story – like how do I want to say this and stay on topic and on subject? But it really is inspiring for other people. There were people who approached me and said they never knew that about me. And my story inspired our Chairwoman to get up and speak too. I will continue to share because of the inspiration it gives other people.
You are the first Tribal member to hold this position since Jade Carela took over as the Executive Director of Family Services. Why is it important to have that Tulalip representation?
It is important for Tribal members to take on roles in leadership positions. And it means a lot to our people – to have people in positions who they know and who they can trust. I feel like when they’re more comfortable, they’re more willing to open up, and they’ll want to come forward and share.
Not only have you been active in the community with TWB and the Events department, but you also have strong cultural ties. Can you talk some more about your background and love for the culture?
I would say it was probably around the time when my mom passed away in 2013 when I became more culturally involved, because I know that’s what she wanted. And before that, we really only practiced smokehouse because my mom was a smokehouse dancer. So, I was looking for other ways to expose my kids to the culture. In 2013, we started attending culture nights. And we all just kind of grew a love for that environment, as far as singing, and my kids liked learning how to dance.
It wasn’t until 2019 that we got back into practicing our culture, when my daughter Shylah decided to go on Canoe Journey. We kind of weren’t getting along at the time, so I was like okay, well you got to figure it out. And she did. She ended up going with her friend and the friend’s sister, who I trust. And when they all went, we got to go and show our support for them.
Shortly after, I took the position as Events Manager and part of that is coordinating Salmon Ceremony practice. I got to learn all this history about the songs, why we sing those songs, the order in which we sing them, and learn all the dances as well. Through learning all those things, I grew such a strong love for the culture. I remember asking, where has this been my whole life?
I feel like our culture really centers us. Our culture will always be our home and who we are. And just this last year, I joined the smokehouse myself and have been on that journey.
We really did find a love, joy, and a connection with each other through the culture, being able to sing and dance together.
It sounds like your mom was the driving force and a big inspiration behind all the good work you’ve done for the community. Do you feel like she would be proud to see how much you’ve grown and that you’re in this position now?
I do. It’s so crazy, but I will probably always crave that. Just to hear her tell me she’s proud of me. I’m going to get emotional, but she has told me from the other side that she’s proud of me, and so I know that she is. And I know my grandparents are too. They were also a big motivator for me. There were so many things my mom wanted to do when she was here, but she didn’t have the confidence to do so. When she left, I knew I had to that for her.
A lot of the things that I do, that are community based, I do for the love of my mom. Because it was something that she was told she needed to do, but she didn’t know how to do it. That was the motivator for Together We’re Better. And she’s just a motivator for me and my kids, and I know my sisters and their kids – for all of us to continue to be good people, because she was so amazing, so loving, so open and non-judgmental. And I’m not just saying these things because she’s my mom, but because that’s totally who she was.
And she knew that you were a survivor of DV, so coming into this position, that’s a big step for you. That’s got to be something she’s happy to see.
Yes, definitely. She was also a victim of domestic violence and unfortunately it was by my dad. But they always found their way back to each other. And so, whenever I was trying to leave my relationship, she didn’t understand. But with that generation, they always tried to work it out. And I think with every generation that we have coming up after us, and all the education that is available, it changes the way we look at domestic violence and sexual assault.
Not only are we growing stronger as a people, but we are giving our children a more solid foundation so they’re even stronger than us. I always say that our kids are going to be the changemakers, and with our generation behind them, it allows them to have that voice, knowing we’ll stand by them.
Kind of like how the generation before us and the boarding school era, how scared they were to say anything and how hush hush everything had to be. It seems like with each new generation that comes, we’re going to keep getting stronger and stronger.
Now that you’re Director of the CAC and the LOH, what are you most looking forward to?
Moving forward with our team to continue to provide our community with the knowledge that they need. Also, to help maintain safety in our community by providing them with the tools through community outreach and educational outreach. One goal of mine is to bring in more culturally relevant activities and events, maybe some crafts.
And also, more education. Really getting out there and bringing that knowledge to our community. Because if you’ve been exposed to something your whole life, you don’t really know that there’s a problem. But once they get that education on it, it might raise some red flags and help open their eyes to their situation and to the realization that it may not be the healthiest relationship.
Are there any specific areas that you are particularly excited to learn more about and get into?
I’m looking forward to learning more about motivational interviewing; to learning more about all of it, especially on the advocacy side. I like to think of myself as having a strong-willed personality, so I think I’d be good at that, advocating for our clients on both sides. As a DV survivor, I understand that side. But the crimes against children, that will be tough and is new to me. So just learning skills on how to manage those situations and being there for our kids and the DV survivors.
Why is it important to have these two programs on the reservation?
Because we need programs to protect and support our kids. I feel it’s important to have a space where kids feel safe. Our advocates really take the time to walk our clients through the process and get them the services they need. And that goes for both programs. There are so many supports our Legacy of Healing provides, so many services to help DV survivors get out of those domestic violence relationships and get them on their feet after fleeing a dangerous relationship.
It can be difficult for people to come forward. Do you have any words of reassurance or advice for those individuals?
The only advice that I would say would be to really listen to that gut feeling. It’s really hard because you will have people that will ask you, why don’t you just leave? And there will come a time when you feel like that is what you need to do. Once you have that feeling, then you should act on it. And whenever you’re ready, we’re always here to help.
I think that it’s important for the community to have a strong Tribal member with auntie vibes in this position. Is that the environment you strive to create, in order for the people to feel comfortable coming to you during their hour of need?
I definitely do. In every position that I’ve held within the Tribe, I’ve tried to build and maintain relationships. My word is all I have and so if I’m telling you that I’m going to do something, I am going to follow through. Because who are we without our word? I always want people to feel comfortable talking to me about anything. I think that’s a really good quality to have.
And it’s actually funny, I just got my photo and information put up at the center this week. We had somebody here for services, and one of their little guys saw my picture and was like, ‘I think that’s my auntie’. I don’t know who he was, but I thought that was so cute. Because in my photo, I have on my beaded baseball cap and my beaded earrings, so he thought, that must be my auntie. That was so awesome.
For more information on both the Children’s Advocacy Center and the Legacy of healing, Malory submitted a short informational article in this week’s issue of the syəcəb. If you would like to get in contact with the CAC, their number is (360) 716-5437. And to reach the LOH, please contact (360) 716-4100.
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More on the CACand the LOH
Submitted by Malory Simpson
Children’s Advocacy Center
The first Children’s Advocacy Center (CAC) opened in Huntsville, Alabama in 1985 when a local prosecutor, Bud Cramer, decided that there had to be a better way to respond to children who had made a disclosure of sexual abuse. The system was fragmented, children and families were not receiving the support they needed, and children were potentially retraumatized by a process that was supposed to be helping them. He brought together key individuals from law enforcement, child protective services, criminal justice, medical, and mental health to develop a better approach. The CAC model uses a multidisciplinary team response, pulling the different disciplines involved with investigation, prosecution, advocacy and treatment together to provide seamless, comprehensive services to child victims. As word spread about the success of the model, the Huntsville team started training other communities and the model spread.
The Children’s Advocacy
Center provides: Mental health services, advocacy, professional forensic interviewing, multi-disciplinary team services, outreach, and education.
Why a Children’s Advocacy Center? Children are among the most vulnerable members of our community. When a child is abused, we are here to provide safety, justice, and healing.
Whom do we serve? The Tulalip Children’s Advocacy Center serves children (and their non-offending family) who are victims of, or witnesses to a crime such as sexual abuse, physical abuse, or severe neglect.
What do we do? Our goal is to streamline the investigative and prosecution process of child abuse cases in a victim-centered, trauma-informed way. We do this by collaborating with those who may be involved in the case such as policing agencies, forensic medical examiners, child welfare, and those involved in the legal system.
Legacy of Healing
The Legacy of Healing provides emotional support, advocacy, and legal assistance to adult victims and survivors of all crimes, including but not limited to:
Domestic Violence
Sexual Assault
Stalking
Trafficking
Survivors of Homicide Victims
Arson
Burglary
Hate Crimes
Identity Theft
Elder Abuse
We also help provide Emergency Financial Assistance: Emergency financial assistance is grant-dependent and may be available to clients on a case-by-case basis. All services, including financial assistance, are based on eligibility and current funding availability.
“I did receive a Pendleton and a blanketing ceremony! It was very emotional because they (beda?chelh team) all seen the growth, because I did grow a lot through the program. I was able to dig deeper into why I do what I do and why I think the way I do. And I’m really thankful that they acknowledge the work that is put in, that they acknowledge that you are a good parent. I feel that’s very important.”
-Jaida Wasko, Tulalip Parent/beda?chelh client
Shelly Lacy and her team at beda?chelh have been on a mission to reinstill trust with their clients since she took the helm at the Tribe’s child welfare program. This effort is to show the community that their number one goal is to keep Tribal families together and to reunite children with their parents, if the court removes them from the home.
A common misconception about the program is that beda?chelh’s only interest is separating the kids from their parents, and that beda?chelh makes the final decision to place them in another home. When in actuality, their role is to assess the child’s living environment and open a case if there’s a safety issue that calls for removal.
Following a co-investigation with the state, the Tribal court system will determine if the child needs to be placed in another home or can remain with the family. beda?chelh is there regardless of the outcome to help you plan your next step, whether that’s addressing those issues with the children still living in the home or beginning the reunification process.
Jaida Wasko, Tulalip Parent and beda?chelh client, recently regained custody of her kiddos. In an interview with Tulalip News, she expressed a great amount of gratitude for beda?chelh and her caseworker. And though her partner may have had a slightly different experience with beda?chelh, she credits the program for their growth as parents and states that with their help, they were able to reunite as a family in an expeditious fashion.
Said Jaida, “I feel like the program is protecting and looking out for the best interests of our children, whether or not people are able to see the hard work that they do. Because it is hard work pulling kids out of families when they don’t want to, but they have to. It’s case by case, but I feel it’s important for someone to step in and motivate parents to reunite and get better for the wellbeing of our kids. Because our kids need stability, discipline, structure. beda?chelh is a really good resource for people like me who are going through things, and they just can’t quite get out of it. They give me motivation to keep going.”
Through their latest efforts, like the implementation of a monthly cultural class for their families, beda?chelh is going the extra mile to show that they are a resource and not the enemy, that they care for the wellbeing of the kids and the entire family unit. And that they are there to support and uplift you through those challenging times.
“I had tested positive for fentanyl and meth, and my kids ended up having to come out of the home,” explained Jaida. “It was kind of hard because they were stuck between opening a case and not opening a case, because me and my husband were both functioning addicts. From the get-go, it was very hard, but they were very understanding. And at the end of the day, we are very thankful for the opportunities we did get. We were able to get help financially from them with clothing vouchers, food vouchers, gas vouchers. They were also able to get us into the same parenting classes, so we were able to do it together. It’s a lot of hard work, but if me and my husband can push through and do that work, anybody can.”
Photo courtesy of Jaida Wasko
Upon the closure of a case, when the child is back in the care of their parents, Tribal Court usually holds a blanketing ceremony, accompanied by a prayer chant or song by local culture bearers. beda?chelh recently took this ceremony over, utilizing the event as an opportunity not only to acknowledge the families’ work of completing their journey with the program, but also to celebrate each accomplishment that their other clients make throughout their time with beda?chelh.
Shelly expressed, “That’s always the fun part of our job, because we get to celebrate that they’ve done it. We make sure to remind them of all their hard work, and how far they’ve come, because sometimes people think we don’t value their work. We want them to know how proud we are of the work they’ve done to get their kids back, reminding them that their kids will always remember the work that they’ve done for them. And then we’ll also award certificates at the celebration lunch, for every family that hits a major milestone.”
In Native America, a blanketing ceremony is held on momentous occasions, such as a graduation or a marriage, to honor your successes. The blanket serves as a physical reminder of your accomplishments and your growth through a certain phase of life, as well as an indicator that you are ready to begin your next journey. In traditional ceremonies or gatherings, blankets are a sign of wealth within tribal families, and to receive a blanket as a gift is a high honor.
When asked about the significance of the blanketing ceremony at beda?chelh, Shelly said, “Now, this is just how I think of it, because it depends on what family you’re in and where your beliefs come from. To me, when we wrap you in that blanket, we put our hopes for you, our love for you, our caring for you in that blanket. We are wrapping you in hope, love, and our caring, so when you’re having a rough day, you can wrap yourself up in that blanket and you can still feel that from us.”
Photo courtesy of Jaida Wasko
With one last case on the verge of closure in the coming weeks, Jaida is excited to join the next blanketing ceremony and celebrate the work her family put in as well as the efforts made by other parents.
“It’s so awesome to see that they go out of their way to do blanket ceremonies for our people,” she said. “It was a surprise when it happened to me. I was surprised, it was emotional, and it shows that we truly do recover. My caseworker said she was so proud of us both, because they don’t see a lot of couples do it together. The way I look at it is our kids are our future. My kids are the most important people on the earth to me. And all the work that they do at beda?chelh is in the best interest of our kids, that’s who they are doing it for.”
Jaida and her family’s experience with beda?chelh is a good example of the saying ‘it works if you work it’. With many new success stories coming from beda?chelh, one could assess that team’s new hands-on approach and emphasis on celebrating their client’s victories is helping overturn that negative perception that many folks on the reservation hold against beda?chelh. One thing is for sure, the program is going to have to stock up on wool blankets as more parents are buying into the program, doing the work to reunite their families, and understanding the need for and the importance of the Tribe operating their own child welfare agency.
“It’s just about providing that extra layer of support for our clients. We really do want you to keep your kids, and we want to be there to help you get your kids back,” Shelly stated. “This is a way to really celebrate with the parents and give them that encouragement to keep going. Because it can feel like there is so much you have to do. It can seem like you have so far to go and you’re not going to make it. So, it’s important to stop and celebrate the work you’ve done.”
beda?chelh is planning to hold a blanket ceremony on the first Tuesday of every month to celebrate their clients’ accomplishments and inspire them to keep working toward reunification. The celebration will be held during the lunch hour at the beda?chelh headquarters. For more information, please contact Shelly Lacy at (360) 716-4059.
Tulalip Legacy of Healing rallies support for DV survivors at 2nd annual Coastal Jam and Dinner
By Kalvin Valdillez, Tulalip News
“I remember gasping for air, feeling his grip tighten behind me. When he finally let me go, I could see the blank expression on his face. Once I finally caught my breath, he walked away. I called the police, which led me to the Legacy of Healing. Their support has been a lifeline for me.”
Tears were visibly streaming down faces while domestic violence (DV) survivor, Andres Thornock, opened up about their experience in a three-year intimate partner DV relationship. By sharing their story, Andres wanted to reassure others that they are not alone, and that help is available at the Tulalip Legacy of Healing.
Andres continued, “Throughout our time together, I faced verbal abuse, intimidation, threats, and ultimately physical harm. My now ex-fiancé struggled with alcoholism and bipolar schizoaffective disorder. His emotions would swing wildly – one moment he’d be shouting, the next he’d be in tears. It felt like a relentless rollercoaster. Eventually, I couldn’t sleep at night; I’d wait until he left for work in the morning just to find some rest. He wouldn’t let me work or pursue anything meaningful, often sabotaging my attempts. Living in a constant state of hyper-vigilance for so long made me believe that anxiety and fear were my new normal. I also fell into a deep depression, isolated from everyone I loved. I felt profoundly alone for far too long. This was my reality for three exhausting years.”
Although Andres was only one of two to share their terrifying and heart wrenching truth on the night of October 25, there were scores of people listening who could relate. They say there’s strength in numbers, and that strength could be felt as over 150 people attended the second annual DV Awareness Month Coastal Jam and Dinner. An impressive turnout considering there were several other community gatherings occurring at the same time. That was important for survivors to see that support, feel that love, hear those stories of resiliency, and help raise awareness about DV, something that happens far too often in Native America.
The yearly coastal jam and dinner is organized by the Legacy of Healing, a program that is designed to support local victims and survivors of DV in several capacities. Whether it’s educating the community about DV, providing resources to survivors, standing in your corner throughout the court process, or even designing a safety plan with you for when you’re ready to leave an abusive relationship, the Legacy of Healing is available 24/7 to help in any way that they can. The program has a strict confidentiality policy and does not pass judgement on anybody who needs to utilize their services. So, if you need information for a friend, family member, or yourself, your concerns and conversations shared will remain between you and the advocacy team.
“You don’t need to live with violence in your home,” urged Marisa Chavez, the Legacy of Healing’s Lead Advocate. “The Legacy of Healing is here for you to utilize for help. Once you speak to an advocate, you will be provided with information to learn the next steps on your healing journey to living a DV free life. It may be tedious, but you will find that you have the inner strength and support to make that happen. You don’t need to walk this journey alone to healing. We are here for you.”
For the better half of the past decade, the Legacy of Healing has participated in a nationwide initiative known as DV Awareness Month. Every October, the program dedicates all of their efforts to educating the community about what DV is and what it looks like, so survivors can identify those red flags and recognize when they are in a dangerous relationship. And through this work, they are able to reach more people and provide support and resources to those in need of their services. During DV Awareness Month, the Legacy of Healing team also partners with the Tulalip Foundation and holds a raffle throughout October, in which all proceeds go directly to helping survivors of DV.
“A lot of times victims experience DV outside of public view and it happens in secret in their own homes,” explained Legacy of Healing Coordinator, Kaley Wickham. “October is a time for us to raise awareness for DV. Most, if not all, of the survivors we work with have also witnessed DV when they were children, or they know other family members or friends who have also experienced it. It’s a very normalized part of their life and yet people aren’t able to recognize it or talk about it.”
In years past, the Legacy of Healing put on a number of trainings, activities, and movie screenings during the awareness month to bring attention to DV occurring at Tulalip and on reservations across the country. Last year, however, the program pivoted to one culturally centered gathering, which was a huge success. As Natives, we know that there is healing in our traditions. Drum and dance are our tradition. Community and cultural gatherings are our tradition. The ancestral language and songs are our tradition. Sharing story and meals together are our tradition. Wrapping each other with love and healing through the culture is our tradition. The Legacy of Healing took each of those aspects of the culture and enveloped it into one night of awareness and healing – the coastal jam and dinner.
Fittingly, the tagline of this year’s gathering was ‘DV is not our tradition’. Unfortunately, in today’s society, more than four in five Native American men and women have experienced some form of violence in their lifetime – more than 3 million people according to the National Institute of Justice. Through that study, the NIJ also reported that tribal communities experience DV at higher rates than any other race or ethnicity throughout the U.S.
On the night of the coastal jam and dinner, Executive Director of the Tulalip Family Advocacy Division, Jade Carela, elaborated on the statistics. “Tonight, I stand before you not only as an advocate of this work, but also a daughter of our community, which has faced immeasurable pain and loss. This issue touches each of us personally. We have DV in our community happen every day. The statistics we discuss are not just numbers; they represent our family members – they are our sisters, brothers, our mothers, fathers, our daughters, sons, our grandmothers, and grandfathers. Each name, each survivor, is a vital thread in the fabric of our community. These aren’t abstract victims; they are us.”
Following the testimonials, bravely shared by Andres and former Tulalip Board of Director Pat Contraro, the dinner concluded with a moment of silence and a prayer song by Antone George (Lummi) and the Westshore Canoe Family. With their swag bags in-hand and donning their new ‘DV is not our tradition’ event t-shirts, the crowd migrated from the Teen Center to the Greg Williams Court for the coastal jam.
As the survivors and their families filed into the bleachers on either side of the court, the healing work began to take place along the sidelines. Throughout the night, three drum groups shared the floor. Their booming voices and steady drumbeats in dedication to all the DV survivors, both inside of the gym and across the reservation. And also, in memory of those who are no longer with us due to DV. Equally as important, dozens of dancers spread that good Indigenous medicine as they occupied the dancefloor for nearly the entire three-hour jam. Many survivors immersed themselves into the songs and dances, experiencing that traditional work first-hand and incorporating their ancestral ways into their healing journey.
“Why does this matter?” asked Jade, “Because the fabric of our community is integral to the entire tapestry of society. The violence that affects us reflects deeper systemic issues that we have faced for generations. Standing up for the rights and safety of Indigenous people strengthens our collective human dignity. Tonight is not just for reflection, but for collective awareness. We must arm ourselves with knowledge and the tools to dismantle the cycle of violence against our community. Violence is against our traditions, our values, and our culture. Together, let’s turn our shared trauma into our collective strength. Stand united, as our ancestors did, and ensure our community does not merely survive but flourishes.”
If you or anybody you know is experiencing an abusive relationship, please do not hesitate to call the Legacy of Healing at (360) 716-4100 for assistance. And if you are in a crisis or an emergency situation, the Legacy of Healing provided a list of three additional hotline numbers that you can utilize during your time of need:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Strong Hearts Native Helpline: 1-844-762-8483
Domestic Violence Services of Snohomish County 425-25-ABUSE (22873)
Reflecting on another successful coastal jam and dinner, Jade expressed, “Let us honor the memory of those we’ve lost and those who are still experiencing DV by committing to an unwavering dedication to end violence in our communities. Thank you for standing with us – for our people, for our future. I am grateful that so many of our community members came to support the cause. I’m also thankful for my staff and their dedication to our community. We owe it our ancestors, our current families, and the many generations yet to come to fight for a community where every one of us is safe, respected, and cherished.”
A new program will soon be available for Tulalip families who are weathering those years of adolescent growing pains and teenage rebellion. A collaboration between Tulalip Family Haven and the Tribal Court, the program focuses on bringing the family unit together to address some of their teen’s actions and misbehaviors, and help right the ship before those real consequences start to kick in.
“When this idea came to the floor at General Council, it was by the parents,” explained Family Haven Manager, Alison Bowen. “They felt that there were a lot of supports for families when things got really bad, but not for families that were trying to resolve issues before it came to the point of being unchangeable. And so, this program is for youth, who are still in the care of their parents or guardians, who are trying to solve a problem and not enter into beda?chelh or the juvenile court system.”
The program is called Youth in Need of Services, or YINS for short. It is open to Tribal families with troubled youth between the ages of 13-17. The youth must be experiencing one of the following issues: has been absent from home for at least 72 hours without consent of parents or guardians, has substance abuse problems with no pending criminal charges related to substance abuse, has excessive unexcused absences or is excessively late to school, is not participating in their education, are beyond the management of their parents/guardians, or their behavior is endangering their own health, safety, or welfare or others around them.
Getting to know the YINS Case Manager. “I am Andrea Coberly. I’m a Quileute tribal member and a Tulalip descendant. I was previously a home liaison at the Quileute tribal school and worked with kids from kindergarten to 12th grade. I have dealt with the juvenile court system and worked on truancy cases and with youth at risk. And I have experience in helping guide the parents and the kids through this process because it can be hard to understand at times. I’m excited to be working here, because in La Push we didn’t have anything like this, and just because of the amount of resources that this Tribe and area can provide for the parents and the kids.”
From their mission statement, Family Haven states, ‘The goal is to not punish youth or their families, but rather to reconcile and work together for the family.’ Alison likened the new program to the successful Family Wellness Court, which is a program where tribal parents follow a personalized plan to regain custody of their children. Upon acceptance into YINS, the family will also follow a plan tailored to their needs and services required. The individualized plans will be developed by the YINS Case Manager, Andrea Coberly, along with courthouse officials. And similar to Family Wellness Court and the Healing to Wellness Court, cultural and community engagement from the family will more than likely be implemented into their plan, depending on the case.
“I can help the parents find resources like therapy, I think that’s a very big one, and the other big one is medical,” Andrea stated. “And we have other resources and other departments and locations that we can refer them to. I will be the mediator, so the parents and kids aren’t going at each other’s necks. And I can help the parents communicate that they just want their kid to do good and succeed. And help the kids realize that what they are doing isn’t okay and it can lead to criminal charges or juvie, and how that can affect their future.”
After Family Haven receives a referral form for the family, they will reach out to them within three business days to schedule an intake meeting. At the initial meeting, Andrea will have the families fill out an intake form, give a complete overview of YINS, schedule a follow-up meeting, and determine if the family meets the qualifications for enrollment into YINS. Andrea also notes that the intake meeting is parent-led, but the kids will have an opportunity to say their piece as well.
Said Andrea, “If we decide it needs to go to the court, then we would file the first petition, which I will be helping the parents through because it is kind of lengthy, and then send it over to the court to get put on the docket. The first [court appearance] is not considered a hearing, it’s more of a conference with the court to develop the plan.”
Alison added, “And then following that, the court will set a date to review the progress of the plan. Did the youth do their part? Did the parents do their part? Were there any barriers? And if so, what can we do to work around those barriers? It’s really to facilitate the process and also try to reduce or shorten the timelines of barriers for the families that are in crisis.”
The team laid out a timeline as they start to roll out the new program to Tulalip’s membership. YINS will officially start meeting with parents and guardians on November 18. On December 2, they will begin the filing process, to get any potential cases on the docket. And the first YINS court hearing will be held on December 5.
For more information, or to refer a Tribal family, you can reach out to Andrea directly at either her desk phone, (360) 716-4342, or her cell phone (360) 913-7357. She can also be contacted through e-mail at ACoberly@TulalipTribes-nsn.gov.
“A big aspect of Native American culture is family,” expressed Andrea. “And separating us ties into that generational trauma of not being able to be with your family. We want to keep the families together and prevent the youth from ending up in beda?chelh, where there might be placement problems and shortages, and they might have to be sent to a different state. It’s important to keep the tribal kids together with their families and connected to their Tribe’s awesome traditions.”
“We have to be able to grieve. We have to be able to process loss,” said Nola Jeffrey. “And there’s many ways that we could do that – you can go to therapy and talk to someone, and that does help. But I’d rather do ceremony, I’d rather go to the water, I’d rather go into a sweat lodge, I’d rather sit in a circle with our people and talk to them. Because what you’ll find is that we share things in common, and in that, it gives us strength.”
A sage bundle burned atop an abalone shell at the entrance of the Gathering Hall. As people arrived, they took a moment to ground themselves, guiding the fragrant vapors from head to toe, cleansing their bodies and spirit before stepping into the Hall on the evening of October 7.
At the start of September, the Tulalip Tribes introduced an initiative to the community dubbed the Season of Healing. Since then, the Tribe has organized a number of gatherings aimed at healing the mind, body, spirit, and heart of its membership, and also of the citizens who work for the Tribe or live on the reservation. Through TED-Talk-esque panels and traditional art projects, the people have been absorbing the knowledge and teachings shared at these events with the intention of applying it to their own healing journey.
Tulalip Board of Director, Theresa Sheldon, explained, “The Season of Healing came about to the BOD, really from the community saying that they want to address trauma. We put together eight Mondays of speakers, eight Saturdays of art to talk about hard issues and work through them at the same time. Having speakers come from outside the community to talk about things that impact you, in a safe environment, is really the intent and purpose of us doing that. And then working on art projects so we can then get it out. Art takes a different piece of your brain and a concentration of peace and balance that we don’t use when we’re in fight or flight. It was an intentional combination to have speakers and art together.”
The latest installment of the Season of Healing focused on dealing with grief and loss. According to a recent study by the CDC, American Indian and Alaskan Native males had the highest death rate in 2022 with 1,444 deaths per 100,000 population. And AI/AN females were not far behind with a total of 1,063 deaths. These statistics are staggering considering that most other races had a death rate below 900 per 100,000 people. That is 40% higher than the white population, 17% higher than the black community, and 98% higher than Hispanics.
Delving a bit further, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office of Minority Health reported that the life expectancy for Natives is an average age of 71.8 years, compared to an average of 78.8 years for whites, 74.8 years for black people, and 81.9 years for Hispanic individuals. But even without knowing any of those stats, many Native people could relate this to you simply from experience, by recalling upon the names and memories of all the loved ones we’ve laid to rest.
“I think that as Native people, we do funerals really well,” Theresa stated as tears began to well up in her eyes. “And I think after the funeral, we don’t know what to do. I think we don’t talk about it enough. We don’t talk about the foreverness that we carry as long as we’re still here. That loss we have, we’re just expected to know how to deal with it.”
After receiving an event t-shirt that read, ‘reclaiming joy, love, and laughter’, attendees shared a meal together before the panel began. Taking their seats at the head of the Gathering Hall, the people participated in some mindful mediation and breathing exercises, led by Tulalip community member and LMP, Glendy Morrison.
On the main stage, three chairs were occupied by Tribal member and event emcee, Kali Joseph, moderator and Tulalip BOD Debra Posey, and guest speaker Nola Jeffries (Tsimshian/Coast Salish). Nola is well known amongst tribal communities, and she has leant her voice and efforts to the health and betterment of Indigenous people at gatherings such as the Tribal Canoe Journey and at various National Day of Truth and Reconciliation events across Indian country.
During this intimate gathering of about 50-60 Tulalip community members, Nola spoke from the heart. She shared her personal experience with grief and how she was able to cope and withstand the lowest point of her life, the loss of her daughter Megan, who aged just 20 months before her untimely passing.
“My daughter died in a car accident that I was very much a part of,” she stated. “Having this beautiful little girl who was so full life, full of love, full of energy, and full of promise, to be gone – my whole life changed in a second. As a mother, I thought it was my responsibility to keep all my children safe and that day I didn’t succeed. I blamed myself. Sometimes, you can turn your anger onto somebody, but I drew that anger inward. I didn’t feel I deserved to be a mother, a wife. I didn’t feel like I deserved to even grieve for her because I caused this to happen.
“It’s hard for us to grieve. What grief can do is stop us dead in our tracks and I think that’s what happened to me. I had a really hard time staying here. It was my own mother who probably helped me stay here. She called me and told me she was worried about me, and that if anything happened to me it would kill her. And a little lightbulb went on in my brain. I would purposely cause my mother this pain. I would purposely make her suffer. I thought to myself I can’t do that; I have to somehow live through this. There were times I couldn’t look ahead, because the pain was so deep. And what I would do is stuff it down. Of course you can’t stuff all that pain down. For me, it felt like I had a manhole over that pain, and it would get so full, it would be like a geyser. It would start coming up until I’d get control of it again and push it back down. I lived my life like that for a long time. I’d pretend I was happy, people thought I was happy, but I wasn’t. I was struggling. There were lots of beliefs I held that just weren’t true, because I really wasn’t responsible for my daughter’s death. I was part of it. One day I woke up and thought, Nola, you’re not the creator. You can’t make all these things happen. You’re not in control of any of this.”
Nola went on to explain that she officially set off on her healing journey 11 years after her daughters passing. Upon accepting a position at a substance use and trauma treatment center named the Tsow-Tun Le Lum Society, she was introduced to new forms of therapy which helped her through that pain and gave her a new perspective on grief, in addition to traditional work.
She said, “I believe that things are supposed to happen the way that they happen. We have a time to be born, and we have a time to go. Sometimes it’s really hard to accept some of the things that have happened. I used to think that if I accepted it, then I agreed with it – I realized I was just fighting myself. I couldn’t change what had happened. I still have grief, but the way I live with my grief is different. I didn’t think I had the right to cry, and today I absolutely know that my tears are welcome. Even though she is on the other side, she’s still my daughter. That love never dies. I still talk to her. She’s still a part of my life, I still love her so much. And she has taught me so much. What I didn’t know before she came and left was how incredibly strong I am. But I’m going to be honest with you, 35 years have passed and sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. I still miss her.”
Many tears were shed in the Gathering Hall that evening. When hearing Nola recount her story, nearly everyone in attendance could be seen nodding in understanding and relating to those feelings of hopelessness, guilt, and despair. And as she continued to detail her experience with loss, they acquired new ways and ideas on how to work through their grief and how to allow themselves to let go.
Following her TED-Talk, Nola opened the floor for questions. Among the two people who came forward was Tribal member, Deborah Parker.
Said Deborah, “I lost a loved one on September 26th – three years ago. It’s really difficult. I get confused with letting go and remembering. They say to let go, but then also to remember your loved ones. I don’t quite know what to do and how to live without that loved one. What did you do to relieve yourself from that confusion in your mind? Because I know that grief and feeling of loss will be forever, in a sense. But I too want to live a more meaningful life because grief has really hit myself and it’s impacted my children, my family, and friends.”
In response, Nola replied, “You said people talk about letting go, and I think what they’re talking about is to start releasing the pain, because that trauma and grief gets stuck in our bodies. That’s what you need to let go of, that’s what you need to release. But the memories of them? Absolutely not. The love of them? Absolutely not. You hold on to that and you allow it flourish and grow.”
Prior to a youth-led closing song and a raffle drawing, that included $50 gas cards and gift bag prizes, BOD Posey concluded the panel with a few insightful remarks, “When you lose someone who you love, and you get to that point where you can start really remembering the best times, when you can focus on those wonderful moments in time, you can ask yourself what would that person want for you? But you have to be really true and honest about it. Would they want you to be isolated and be in grief? And if the situation were reversed, and you were the one that is gone, what would you want for them? And if you know what you would want for them, that’s what they want for you. To live a full life, to find joy, to find happiness, to live the best life you possibly can.”
The Season of Healing will continue throughout the rest of October. The next art project scheduled is a dentalium earring workshop instructed by Tribal member Santana Shopbell-Proehl. It will be held on Saturday October 12, at the Hibulb Cultural Center from 1:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. To sign-up for the class, be sure to call (360) 716-2600 or e-mail info@hibulbculturalcenter.org. There will also be an Indigenous Peoples’ Day celebration at the Gathering Hall on Monday October 14, beginning at 5:00 p.m., which will feature Noelani Lokepa-Guerrero as the guest speaker.
If you are a Tulalip tribal member, you can follow the speaker series via livestream on IAmTulalip.com. On this site, you can also find a video recording of all the Season of Healing TED-Talk panels if you were unable to catch the event in real time.
“More than four in five American Indian and Alaska Native adults (83 percent) have experienced some form of violence in their lifetime. That’s almost 3 million people who have experienced psychological aggression or physical violence by intimate partners, stalking, or sexual violence.”
-National Institute of Justice
By Kalvin Valdillez
Nearly one year ago, the Legacy of Healing brought Tulalip together for the first annual Domestic Violence Awareness Month Coastal Jam Dinner. It was both an emotional and powerful night where many survivors of domestic violence (DV) bravely shared their story and stood together in solidarity. Through the traditional medicines of drumming and singing, the cultural gathering marked a moment in time that survivors can look back upon and recognize as the start of their healing journey.
To help raise awareness, show support, educate community, and provide resources to DV survivors, the Legacy of Healing participates in a national initiative known as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Every October, for the past several years, the department has been active in the community and facilitated a number of events, trainings, and cultural activities to help bring a better understanding of what DV is and how it affects us as Native people.
“A lot of times victims experience DV outside of public view and it happens in secret in their own homes,” explained Legacy of Healing Coordinator, Kaley Wickham. “October is a time for us to raise awareness for DV. Most, if not all, of the survivors we work with have also witnessed DV when they were children, or they know other family members or friends who have also experienced it. So, it’s a very normalized part of their life and yet people aren’t able to recognize it or talk about it.”
The National Institute of Justice reports that tribal communities experience DV at a much higher rate than any other race or ethnicity throughout the country. Through their study, they evaluated that more than 1.5 million women, and 1.4 million men (A/I and Alaskan Native) have experienced violence in their lifetime. And because some are either stuck in the cycle of DV, have a fear of coming forward, or are unable to recognize their abuse as DV, those numbers may very well be underreported.
Joan Smith, Legacy of Healing Victim Advocate, shared, “Speaking out against it is difficult. First you have to recognize it, and that’s a difficult task. So that’s one of our big points of the awareness month. DV affects everyone around you, not just you and your partner. It affects your children, friends, and other family members. It’s not just physical. It’s intimidation and power over a person, and there are a lot of different ways to do that.”
To help identify DV, the Legacy of Healing compiled a list of examples that reads as follows:
What Abuse Can Look Like
Hitting, pinching
Kicking
Burning
Pulling hair
Pushing
Strangulation
Physical intimidation
Use of weapons
Forcing the use of substance
Throwing items
Punching walls
Kicking in doors
Requesting your login info
Monitoring your social media
IPV sexual abuse
Forcing any sexual acts
Uses children against you
Lies about your mental health
Financial control
Name calling
Jealousy
Shaming or humiliating you
Blaming you for their actions
Controlling where you go
Gaslighting
Love bombing
Stalking
If you are experiencing any forms of abuse listed above, please reach out to the Legacy of Healing. The program has a strict confidentiality policy and can answer any of your questions, whether you are looking to obtain information for yourself or a loved one. Additionally, the Legacy of Healing is careful not to pass judgement and allows their clients grace and understanding, because from a statistical standpoint, it could take a survivor multiple attempts to leave an abusive partnership for good.
When you’re ready to take that next step, the Legacy of Healing can help design a safety plan with you and is prepared to be with you every step along the way.
Angelica Trinidad is a new edition to the Legacy of Healing team and serves as the program’s General Crime Victims Advocate. During a conversation about identifying DV within our community, she stressed an important message to those who may be worried about reporting their abuse and seeking aid, “Confidentiality means confidentiality when it comes to the Legacy of Healing. I think it’s important for people to understand that.”
When asked about the types of support that the Legacy of Healing can provide to a survivor, Interim Lead Advocate, Marisa Chavez, said, “It’s case by case and depends on the needs of survivors and where they need empowerment in that situation. We’re their silent cheerleaders, giving them the empowerment that they need to keep moving forward.”
The Legacy of Healing will have a raffle throughout the entire awareness month. Tickets can be purchased at $5 a ticket or $20 for 5 tickets. Prizes have yet to be unveiled, so keep an eye out for that announcement. If the prizes are anything like last year’s items, then we’re in store for some top tier and highly desirable winnings. But most importantly, in regard to the raffle, all proceeds will help support local survivors of DV throughout the year.
To purchase a raffle ticket, you can catch the Legacy of Healing team at the following dates/events/times:
Although this article is focused on DV Awareness Month, we thought it was crucial to share this bit of information about the recent evolution of the Legacy of Healing and the clients they can take on.
Kaley announced, “We recently expanded our services, so now we serve adult victims of any and all crimes. Before it was intimate partner domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, and sex trafficking. Now we serve all crimes including family violence, burglary, theft, arson, elder abuse.”
The Legacy of Healing is asking you to show your support to survivors of DV throughout the month of October. You can do so by purchasing a raffle ticket, wearing the color purple on October 17, and attending the coastal jam.
The DV Awareness Month Coastal Jam Dinner is set for October 25, and will take place at the Teen Center’s gymnasiums from 6:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m. So be sure to tell all your friends, and any jammers you know, to join in on an evening of healing and help amplify the voices of all the local survivors.
Said Kaley, “We’re not just talking about this issue during DV Awareness Month; we also want to promote healing, because our program is here to support survivors through their healing. So being able to do a coastal jam and incorporate the culture into that can show survivors in attendance a path forward, and that their community does support them.”
If you or a loved one is experiencing an abusive relationship, please do not hesitate to call the Legacy of Healing at (360) 716-4100 for assistance.
“You don’t need to live with violence in your home,” urged Marisa. “The Legacy of Healing is here for you to utilize for help. Once you speak to an advocate, you will be provided with information to learn the next steps on your healing journey to living a domestic violence free life. It may be tedious, but you will find that you have the inner strength and support to make that happen. You don’t need to walk this journey alone to healing. We are here for you.”
If you are in a crisis or an emergency situation, the Legacy of Healing provided a list of three additional hotline numbers that you can utilize during your time of need:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Strong Hearts Native Helpline: 1-844-762-8483
Domestic Violence Services of Snohomish County 425-25-ABUSE (22873)
A powerful message of self-belief and resilience lies at the heart of Sheldon Smith’s talks. A Native youth advocate and motivational speaker from the Navajo Nation, Smith inspires individuals to think critically, speak purposefully, move with intention, and rise to life’s challenges. Central to his message is the importance of self-awareness and discovering inner strength to overcome adversity, making his lessons both introspective and empowering.
On Monday, September 23, Smith brought his message to the Northwest as part of Tulalip’s Season of Healing campaign. He visited Marysville Pilchuck, Heritage, and Getchell high schools before concluding his day with a workshop at the Tulalip Gathering Hall. Throughout the day, Smith reached both the youth and broader members of the Tulalip community with his inspiring lessons.
At Heritage High School, Smith gathered the students in a large circle and spoke from the center. He encouraged them to energize themselves, acknowledging the usual Monday sluggishness. Smith inspired the students, getting them to shout out the day’s mantra: “I am powerful.”
Reflecting on the experience, student Dalton Levine shared, “I enjoyed the speaker. He said some good words. I liked what he said about perseverance—believe in yourself, and everything will be alright.”
The Season of Healing continued at the Gathering Hall, where Smith addressed the community. Before beginning his speech, Smith blessed the audience, both those present and those tuning in virtually, with a song from his flute.
Following this, he delivered a powerful talk on mental and social development, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a healthy mind, body, and spirit. Smith admitted he was nervous, but it quickly became a rewarding experience. “I thought the event went great. I was a bit nervous initially, but that’s normal for me—I always want to do my best,” Smith explained.
The feedback from participants made an impact on him. “Hearing everyone’s words at the end made me feel perfect. Teaching the youth is important because they are our future, and life differs from ten years ago. Everything is sped up with everyone holding a phone and technology advancing so quickly. That’s why sharing these messages with them at a younger age is crucial—to help them find balance and take the next step.”
Smith also shared insights into his journey into motivational speaking. “I grew into this field,” he said, crediting the influence of his family. “I had family members who were medicine people and leaders.” For Smith, visiting the Gathering Hall was a memorable experience. “Thank you,” he said with sincerity. “Coming into the Gathering Hall was probably the highlight of my year.”
Smith’s visit to the Northwest, offering guidance and inspiration, underscores the importance of events like the Season of Healing. Smith imparted wisdom and fostered a more profound sense of unity and purpose, encouraging everyone to continue their journey toward personal growth and healing. As the Season of Healing progresses, his message will remain a cornerstone of the ongoing dialogue about resilience and self-discovery within the community. The Season of Healing continues throughout October, and Tribal members can watch the events on iamtulalip.com
